Day 10 - Trees and Traps

Dear Santa,

I'm reporting in from house number JD11235813 to report on "Jack". He was a good boy today. He played well with one of his friends today. He also had his flu shot today along with his mom. He did so well in the doctor's office, and he was very brave. I am also happy to report that he hasn't hidden any more soiled pullups in his room.

Jack's dog, on the other hand, is another story. I witnessed first hand the atrocities she has committed against stuffed animals. I watched her pin down a little stuffed monkey and try to chew its eyes out. I also met a little bear who is missing his nose after a dog attack. No one deserves that kind of punishment, not even a Beanie Baby, which he was.

I attempted to detain the dog to protect the other stuffed animals. I found some old yarn in one of the closets, and tried to set up a snare. I also tried to use the rope to create a detainment area to hold the dog. Unfortunately, I tried to work on both at the same time, and I ended up getting a little confused.

Later that day, I tried to make contact with headquarters through the Tree, with no success. I made note of the measurements and made my calculations. It turns out, this model of Christmas Tree was defective, and tuned down to CB Radio frequencies, not Santa Radio frequencies. I'm not sure how they made that mistake. Thankfully, I was able to Google for the fix.

I climbed up the tree and found the "tuning pickle". As you are well aware, the pickle in the Christmas tree not just a fun for kids to look for on Christmas Day. It also works great as a bandpass filter for houses in the US where there's so much radio interference from computers and wi-fi networks. I was able to find a better position for it, but I nearly fell down the tree in the rprocess. I had to hold on for dear life until the family found me.

Overall, I'm holding up okay. I managed to find a small stash of lollipops that the parents use to placate Jack. However, I could use a good shipment of something yummy. An elf needs his strength, you know.

Eagerly counting down the days (15 left),

Trixie the elf.

Day 9 - Snowmen and Emergency Requests

Dear Santa,

This is Trixie the elf, reporting in from house number JD11235813. I'm writing to report on the actions of one "Jack". Through most of the day, today, Jack was very good. He washed dishes with his mom, and poured more soap in the sink to make bubbles when she wasn't looking. He brushed his teeth and went to bed at bedtime. However, he did hide an overnight pullup a few days ago in his closet. When his mom found it, it smelled really bad.

Today, I met another group of stuffed creatures that live near the Christmas tree. They refer to themselves as snowmen, though there's not a bit of snow on them. However, they are plump white creatures with hats and scarves, so I can see where they would draw their conclusions. They're not played with that often, so I decided to show them a good time.

Here we were, caroling around a snow globe. We sang some old classics, like "Let it Snow, Let it Snow, Let it Snow", and "Walking in a Winter Wonderland". I got a little misty-eyed as we sang "White Christmas" (Bing Crosby always gets to me). I also taught the snowmen some songs from the Disney movie "Frozen". We sang "Do you want to build a Snowman", which they loved. We finished the caroling with a rousing performance of everybody's favorite song, "Let it Go". I never get tired of that song.

Tonight, I had to make an emergency call for more rations, since my cookies ran out. The antenna in the main Christmas Tree wasn't transmitting properly, so I had to make a call on the mini tree in Jack's room. Unfortunately, the door to his room was closed. I climbed up to the door handle and attempted to move it, but I couldn't get it to work.

Then Jack's mom came to the door. She reached for the handle, and I guess she didn't see me. When she felt me as she grabbed the door handle, she screamed. She commented that she thought there was a bug on her hand. I would have apologized, but I fell from the door handle and hit my head. I was a little too dazed to respond.

After she had left the door open, I was able to make the call on the mini tree for the candy-cane drop. I can't wait to get some good food in my tummy. Truth be told, I accidentally took a bite of one of their salt-dough ornaments. That was disgusting. Thankfully, I completed my order before Jack found me on the tree

At this time, I have nothing else to report. I hope everything at the North Pole is going smoothly. I can't wait to get back in my little elf bed and eat some milk and cookies.

Eagerly awaiting the greatest Christmas ever,

Trixie the elf

Day 8 - Playtime

Dear Santa,

This is Trixie the elf, reporting in from house number JD11235813, concerning the subject, "Jack". Jackson has been a good boy today. He enjoys reading with his mommy and daddy. He also likes to watch TV and play with his toys. He went to preschool today, and I heard no reports about any misbehavior.

Today, I investigated Jack's toy situation. Boy, he has a lot of toys for a kid his age. He could host a NASCAR race with different HotWheel and Matchbox cars everyday for a week and never use one twice. I can't even count on my fingers and toes how many stuffed animals he calls friends. I can tell he has a lot of people who care about him to send him such gifts.

My favorite toy to play with was definitely the train. I got to ride on a track from the Christmas tree, to the kitchen, into the dining room, and back to the couch. It was a lot of fun. My favorite train to ride was "Gordon". The funny thing is, Jack calls him "Thomas". I even heard him reading the bottom of the train, saying, "G-O-R-D-O-N. Thomas!"

I also got to break out the ol' percussion skills today. Jack's mom and dad left out the Wii Rockband drums. I burned it up with my rendition of "Little Drummer Boy". Okay, so that's not really a song on the game, but if somebody would have hummed the tune, it would have been awesome. I'm sure I rocked it!

On a final note, despite the fact that Jack has a lot of toys, he's not really that spoiled. He's a kind boy who likes to play with others and shares pretty well for a three year old only child. It turns out that the volume of toys he has are just one of many indicators that a lot of people love him.

One week down, two and a half to go until the best Christmas ever,

Trixie the elf

Day 7 - Snacktime and Nap

Dear Santa,

This is Trixie the elf, reporting in from house number JD11235813. I'm here to talk about the subject named "Jack". He has been a good boy today. He played well with his friends at church and at home today. He was helpful around the house, and did as he was told. Not bad for a three year old

I finally found edible food on the premises. Last night, Jack's aunt came over and made M&M cookies. After everyone went to bed, I ate some, and then I ate some more, and then I ate some more. There were a few that were overcooked, but overall they were pretty good.

After my snack, I was really sleepy, but I had to be careful where I slept. I heard reports from the stuffed animals of a giant furry white monster that would snatch up unsuspecting small stuffed animals. This creature would either take its prey into its lair, or on the living room rug, and chew their eyes out. I heard first hand testimony from a couple of its victims. Descriptions of the beast match that of the family dog, Lucy.

Armed with this information, I looked for a high place to sleep. After checking several rooms, I put together a nice, comfy hammock. It was high enough off the ground that I could avoid the beast. I slept well, and was only occasionally interrupted by the sound of running water.

Eighteen days and counting to the best Christmas ever,

Trixie the elf

Days 5 and 6 - Storytime and Stuck

Dear Santa,

This is Trixie the elf, reporting in from house number JD11235813, concerning the subject "Jack". I'm sorry for my lack of communication the past day. I had a rather unfortunate incident that kept me from reporting in.

First, I have to log a complaint about in this household. It's next to impossible to find anything nourishing here to eat. There are no candy canes and no gum drops; no candies, cakes, or cookies that are a part of an elf's diet. Jack's parents are on some kind of diet, so all I can find are "whole grain" this and "leafy green" that. How's a Santa's helper supposed to live on this stuff?

So I hatched a plan to get out and get more supplies. I made a rope ladder out of yarn and pipe cleaners, and attempted to get to the roof. I got into the attic, but then I couldn't find the ventilation pipe to get out. What's worse, the door into the attic closed behind me, so I was stuck in the attic all night. It was so cold up there without any cups of hot chocolate with extra marshmallows. Oh the agony!

I managed to slip back into the house after Jack's father opened the attic door to put away extra Christmas decoration boxes. I don't know why he would put decorations away. There can never be enough Christmas decorations in a house. But back to the food supplies, I'm going to try another escape tomorrow. Maybe I'll try to use the front door this time.

In unrelated news, I've been building my relationships with Jack's stuffed associates. They are very curious about life in the North Pole. I've been having "story time" with the stuffed animals, reading them stories from books, and adding the truth where the authors have made mistakes. Clifford, the big red dog, assists me by giving me a perch so I can read to my audience without being hidden behind the book.

To conclude my report, I have found Jack to be a good boy. He says please with his requests, and often says thank you. Lately, he has been saying nice things to other people, like "Mommy, you're hair looks nice today." or "Daddy, that's a nice white shirt." That's very impressive coming from a three-year-old.

Eagerly awaiting the best Christmas ever,

Trixie the elf

Day 4 - Cleanups and Accidents

Dear Santa,

This is Trixie the elf, reporting in from house number JD11235813. It's been another day of watching the subject, Jack. He helped his mom wash the dishes, and they only had to be rewashed once. He helped his mom take care of chores around the house. He wanted to help cook dinner, but the family was having reheated Thanksgiving leftovers, and his mom wouldn't let him take hot food out of the microwave. But Jack ate everything on his plate. He's been a good boy today.

After yesterday's mishaps, I thought I should make myself a little more useful around the house. I found Jack's Tonka Bulldozer (Construction Model 93504) and used it to put away his dirty clothes. Man, that baby drives like a dream. When Jack woke up, his room was nice and tidy.

By the way, I do have to confess to a little accident today. I was talking with Jack's stuffed animals today, telling them stories about the great reindeer games of 2004. In the middle of my retelling of Dasher's famous run for the goal, I realized I had to go... really bad. I ran like a reindeer into the bathroom. I hopped up on the potty and sat down to do my business, but I forgot one thing. When I realized what I'd done, it was too late.

Somebody left the potty lid down. This was not one of my proudest moments.

While I've been away, I've been thinking of you all at the North Pole. I hope production is going well. Tell Lopsy, Mopsy, Ringo, and Bushy-brow in Teddy Bears I said hello.

Your favorite watchman elf third class,

Trixie the elf

Day 3 - GLITTER!!!

Dear Santa,

I'm reporting in from house number JD11235813 to discuss the subject named "Jack". Today was business as usual. Trips in and out of the house. The boy watched TV, read with his mom, and played. Most of the day was normal, but I did catch a little naughty moment.

It was dinnertime, and the family sat around the dinner table. "Jack" was chatting away as usual, and started playing with his fork on the table. His mom instructed him to keep the fork on his plate when he wasn't eating with it. He put it on the plate, but soon he tried to poke his dad with the fork. His mom told him again to put his fork on the plate. He complied again, but later played and bounced the fork on the table.

After multiple corrections, the mother took away Jack's fork and told him to eat his chicken nuggets with his hands. Instead of being a compliant child, Jack instructed his mom several times that what she did was not very nice. His words were respectful, but his attitude was not. He might need a lump of coal for Christmas, or as he calls it, "A dirty rock."

By the way, after everyone went to bed last night, I started to play with some of their crafting supplies. I was going to paint some elaborate murals on their walls, to illustrate the story of Christmas. However, I lost track of time when I discovered something wonderful.

 GLITTER!!!

Red glitter to be exact. Oh the joy of little shimmery dots of happiness. I love-love-love it! I love how it catches the light, and the sight of it when I throw it up over my head. It was FA-BU-LOUS!

This was how the family found me this morning. I'm not exactly proud of my behavior, at least what I can remember of it. I'll try to moderate myself a little better around the art supplies, especially around this stuff.

It's almost three weeks until the big day,

Trixie the elf